You don’t need a man

I read a post yesterday on a certain blog, which I conveniently forgot, about another blog that author A read. She (A) described the said blog as being filled with entries about how that author (B) feels miserable and lonely because she is in her late 20′s and has no prospect of landing a guy in her life, while all her friends have guys or at least potential ones. It wasn’t just one entry, it was the entire blog — entries after entries filled with how she needs a guy in her life and how incomplete she was without one.

Wake up girl! You don’t need a man in your life to feel complete. Being in a relationship is wonderful, and it’s nice to have someone to share your joys, your tears, and your deepest thoughts, but at the same time, it’s unhealthy to completely depend on the guy alone. Your world and social circle should be a lot more than just “you + him = forever”. When you fall into the mindset that you are incomplete without a man, you’re not only belittling yourself, you’re also subconsciously lowering your standards, only to find out that your Mr. Right is Mr. Anything-but-right. But because of your mindset, you’d rather settle for less when you deserve so much better.

Being alone on Valentine’s Day and dateless at prom doesn’t mean you are lonely and unloved. I used to have the same problem, thinking that I needed a guy to make my life perfect. But when I did have one, it was like discovering the missing puzzle piece to my puzzle, only to find out that it didn’t fit. I realized that it’s not about others coming into your life to complete you, but about you already being complete just as you are. Only then do you have the capability to give and love others, instead of asking others to love and give unto you.

So Miss B, get out there and go enjoy life, it’s too short to waste on ranting about your man-less life. Don’t focus on what you don’t have, but focus on the family, friends, and other good things you’ve been blessed with. You’ll find that you’re not so alone and incomplete after all.

Who needs dudes when you have friends like these

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written on January 7, 2009 in Life

14 Comments

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http://www.pour-soi.net Aleida

OMG I was actually discussing this with my mom not so long ago. I really dislike the “Jerry Maguire – You Complete Me” – thing. I also think you’re already a complete person and you really need to be a complete person before you can actually make a relationship work.

My mom thought a nice boyfriend for my sister would do her good. But I said she’d better lose the whole “Bridget Jones act”.

I think there’s definitely something wrong when people have to beg to be loved. Find another crowd, be the best person you can be, yeah enjoy life and love will come your way – may it be family, friends or a lover.

Haha I like your advice. It’s a shame there are still people out there who get caught up in the whole “I need to have a partner” thing *sigh*

http://riyuu.org Mimi

Yes, when you have to begged to be loved, that’s like telling the world that you’re not really worthy of their love. People should care about you without you having to beg them, and those that make you do it probably aren’t worth your time anyways.

http://www.everdestiny.com Destiny

It’s probably a blogger who’s really insecure about herself and therefore couldn’t find the right partner. But give the gal a break… after not being satisified, what can one do but express dissatisfaction?? Plus, one’s own blog is also one’s own right, you can always give her a comment on that. Please don’t take my comment the wrong way, I agree that a man shouldn’t be a woman’s complete satisfaction, but when one has never received that type of love before or have deeply before and has been forfeit, it’s hard to think positive about life without a guy

http://riyuu.org Mimi

Hmm, you have a good point there. I’ve never actually read her blog, and of course I’d never leave a comment like that on her site, but it can get a little exasperating for the readers when 90% of your entries are about the miseries of a man-less life.
But you’re right, she’s definitely insure about herself.

http://dark-rose.org Amber

Psh, relationships. So overrated. It’s nice to have someone who cares about you around, but it’s not The Only Thing Worth Living For™. I hope that girl’s spirits lift up, though. :\

The funny thing is, I read this entry and immediately thought of Bella from Twilight. Meep!

http://riyuu.org Mimi

I hope so too. No one deserves to feel that way about themselves

I’ve yet to watch Twilight, much less read the book, but when I think of Bella, I think of her rather vacant expressions I see in screencaps

walkmoon

my mother language is not ENGLISH.
i think the correct word is portfolio.but i have a light myopia.U know i am not sure

,good job.

http://riyuu.org Mimi

Thank you so much for pointing this out! The correct word is portfolio

http://www.infektia.net Infektia

I felt the same way in my late teens, but now when I’m older, I know that I don’t have to have a partner to live a happy life. Still struggling about the happy part though but that is all about other things, not love.
http://www.simply-charmed.org Veronica

You know I think we all go through that at sometime. I know that I did. I think it’s just a phase. I do agree with your points, but I feel for the girl, I really do.
http://lethalpink.com Charity

I think as teenagers lots of girls feel this way, it’s not until you get older and grow that you realize you are all you need to be complete. I think she will probably figure that out as time goes by, although I don’t think it can be healthy to sit around writing a whole blog about it. That’s a little obsessive!
http://xoxjanellexox.net janelle

back in grade school, i was very envious of some friends having suitors. but when i have my fair share, i realized that having one IS NOT THAT fantastic at all.

being single is nice because that means you can have more time with yourself. and you won’t be bugged by “he doesn’t like me doing this…” or that. being single means being bug-free and enjoying life the way it’s supposed to be!
partsstacy

I have always felt I need a man to make me feel complete I feel so lost
Kathy

Men are like desert.It's your choice.